Jeans tennis shoes and a shirt at a college graduation? Hot.Mess.


Class of 2011…practice round?

I normally don’t blog on my cell. Usually I feel like thing can wait until they build up and I have just an absurd unbelievable story to tell. Ok so this maybe isn’t THAT exciting but I’m sitting at my sister’s pre graduation graduation. Yes a full out walk across the stage, guest speaker, cap and gown wearing “pre” graduation. Why you ask? I have no damn idea. I’m still trying to figure out why the people next to me showed up to this in jeans and a hoodie. I’m not the one to crush anyone’s post grad rose colored view of the world but lemme tell you….Listening to a commencement speech post grad is SO different that listening to it as a grad. It kind of makes you stop and think and feed an urge to say screw it and pack up and do something random and spontaneous; leave your everyday life behind. You see where I’m going with this….I’m trying not to scratch the itch but I don’t think I can help it for much longer.

Not that I want to move to St Louis by any means. First night going out and I couldn’t help but stare. As you know people watching and drinking are two of my favorite things to do. Throw in the mix a bunch of 21 year olds, 80’s music and a bar who keeps their lights on all night and it makes for a complete freak show. Maybe Texas tech was an extreme party situation but I’m nervous for my sister and her friends tonight. After seeing them last night I don’t think they can hang with little old me. Haha I’m rested, in birthday mode AND the mavs are playing. Things could get out of hand. But don’t worry I’ll be sure to upload the college fashion disasters I see along the way because don’t be fooled people…St Louis may have BBQ but the people don’t have that much style.


I’ll get over it…

Get over what you ask? My bad karma infused love life? Ha I wish…clearly I’ve royally screwed someone over in my past life and trust me….I’ve been paying for it. My addiction to sleep?? Doesn’t everyone get a solid 11 hours in a night?Or maybe my struggles with complete and utter laziness? Actually, I’m referring my self diagnosed “quarter life crisis”. Just like a mid-life crisis,  minus the young pool boy and BMW convertible. You know the point when you’ve been out of school for a while && it just hits you.  “What the hell am I doing?” No seriously…did I go to college for 4 years && spend tens of thousands of dollars for this? && why is everyone getting married and having kids? Remember when you use to be able to call 12 of your girlfriends and they’d be down for some Wednesday night patio drinking? Well now you have about 3 to call. The others are too busy playing house to come out and get crazy. Ok so the hangovers last 20 hours instead of 3 but it’s worth it….right? I don’t really know when the memo went out to flip the switch and join the “real world” but clearly I must have been passed out.

Hence-my new-found, absolutely hilarious obsession. It’s called post grad problems. And I truly believe someone has been spying on me for a couple of months and jotting down random (once OK in college, but not work appropriate) situations and publishing them. Think of a mix of TFLN && FLM all in one.  Like….Figuring out what time the bar opens so you can retrieve your credit card on your lunch break. Post grad problem (PGP). Needing Adderral to function, but realizing you don’t have a prescription. PGP.  Or Lying when your boss asks you what you did this weekend; because in reality, you’d prefer to keep you job. PGP.  The list goes on and on. So google it. Just sit && laugh and realize that a good majority of the stuff on there has/will happen to you shortly so until you sober up enough to get through your life crisis, it always helps to laugh about it.


New me? Who knew?

It’s been a while. Don’t think that I’ve forgotten about my duty to update you all on the absurdities that happen to me on a regular basis. Last time I left you I was going on a date with this “oh so nice and normal guy” Bahhh. Clearly I should have know that DOESN’T exist. As I was reminded by one of my managers “everyone has issues…you just have dig deep enough to find them”. I think the world would be such a better place if everyone was just upfront about what they wanted and expected. Anyway…there are more bunnies in the garden 🙂 I’ve been doing all kinds of stuff since the last post. Pub crawl, dance parties, wine nights, mini-reunions. I would say that I have maybe 5 groups of friends. All good friends, but some I can only take in small doses, some don’t like to go out, some have BFs who they share a hip with, and some I just don’t get to see that often.  So going out always is an adventure because I’m usually running in different circles.  In the past few weeks I’ve been all over. But that’s normal for me. People think I’m mad at them or don’t want to hang out….it’s just so hard to juggle everyone. Pretty sure the lil wayne concert with my vanilla twin Shannon was the best though. After a bottle of champagne, a 4 loco, 3 beers, and being lower level watching  rick ross, nicki minaj, lil wayne, drake and a night full of dancing and getting home at 5 am… it’s safe to say we had a good night. Fast forward to this week. Just had the best girls night in a while. Cocktails, sushi, girl talk and laughing. Being able to just cut up with people who are like you is the best. It’s things like that, that make me feel like my life is an episode of sex and the city. So as of umm right now I’m  turning over a new leaf. The leaf of not caring. This whole stressing, over analyzing, planning, freaking out, wracking my brain thing just isn’t working for me anymore. From here on out it’s going to be go with the flow. I’m doing what I want. When I want. Work…guys…life….&& we all know I always get what I want anyways : )

From what I remember

Finally. I’ve sobered up enough to write about the weekend. In true day drinking, college fashion, the st. patty’s day block party was out of control. Not only did the girls and I leave for Dallas at 9 (yes, AM!) we drank. and partied. and drank. and danced. and drank ALLL day long. And thank goodness we did. To say the least the block party reminded me of one big frat party. Except girls had to pay. I’m still struggling with the concept but whatever….It was literally body to body. People just PACKED into a 10 block radius. Once I got past the fact we would be outside all day (FYI…I don’t do the sun) we went straight to the bar. Hey…when is the last time anyone can say they did a green beer bong? After we ran into every person for we knew in Lubbock and finished all the beer and jello shots we could consume we treked our way down to the DART rail. Our “safe” transportation for the day. I use that term VERY loosely. Me…on the train? I know, I know but think about it: $1.75 ticket < $10,000 DWI. So as we wait for out rideI can’t help but look around at the freakshow I’m at.  On one side, there is a old couple, I mean like  pushing 60, making out && feeling all over each other. OK…I try not to stare (it’s VERY hard) so I turn around and on the other side who is so drunk she is swaying back and forth and probably 6 inches from falling onto the tracks. But finally…the train pulls up. && the mob begins. NEVER have I seen people push and fight and stuff themselves onto a train.  The last man on is so fat the door wouldn’t even shut. Instead of getting off he wiggles, lifts and I’m sure rearrages his fat onto the innocent people standing near him.  I stand back and wonder if they know another one IS coming? We get on the next train and at this point I’m for real drunk. And of course I want to make a joke out of everything and everybody I have little hearing in one of my ears so it makes talking about people very hard. I think I’m whispering but in actuality I’m talking loud. HAHA. I should’ve known that snapping pictures and mocking everyone on the train was a bad idea but a liquid courage never hurt anyone….right? 

BUT to the good stuff; date this week! Actually tomorrow. I’m still shocked that one is normal. And really does things like, brace yourself,….asks a girl to dinner! Can you believe it? It’s a good sign we’ve been talking every night and so far no mention of jail time, kids. ex-wife or mental issues. And anyone who thinks I’m “down to earth” needs to be snatched up && ironically… that’s exactly what I intend to do.

Back by popular demand…

And by popular I mean 3 people asking me why I haven’t updated them on my life in a while. Not because I’ve forgotten, or because I haven’t had anything ridiculous to write about. Work has been surprisingly uneventful. Which is actually a good thing now that I think about it. I haven’t been asked to push anyone in a wheel chair, or carry boxes of jeans across the building (FYI the office is the length of 8 football fields) or to help birth a baby, in at least a few months now. Personal life. Very eventful. Duh. Let’s see…I don’t think everyone knows about my wonderful (hint: sarcasm) dating life. Pretty sure I have been on more first dates than any one of my friends. Am I picky? Not more so than anyone else….where are all the chocolate bunnies with a degree/job/car && not living with their mom? Is too much to ask for? Apparently so. Not knocking anyone else who is dating a guy who is lacking in one of those areas but it’s not for me. I mean pretty sure 24-30 years is enough time to get your self together. So the excuses mean nothing to me. Honest. Yes. Understanding. Not so much. I probably should work on that; but I’ve already made a resolution this year; so it’ll have to wait  Anyways….To catch you up to speed on the losers I’ve had the honor of wasting precious TV time on are: a compulsive liar who had a list of deal breakers that was literally a foot long. A guy who only wanted to have a weird cyber/text relationship aka NEVER hang out in person (I’m guessing because he was in a relationship the whole time) and my personal favorite…a guy who called me 4 times a day, everyday and when I didn’t answer I was left sex jams .on my voicemail. Like 4 minute songs. It was creepy…to say the least. But ahhh the silver lining. Everyone says it’s there but I was beginning to lose faith. Until I was set up on a blind date. Now I can’t go and jinx it but lets say the criteria  has been met. And that’s a good start. And the fact we could sit at a bar and talk to each other for 3 hours is astonishing. I haven’t had that happen to me in a longggg time. So pray and wish and hope that this works out. For my sake…I can’t take much more of these losers.

P.S. This weekend I’m going to my first St. Patty’s Day Parade, which apparently is a complete drunken mess and a hodge podge of people all over the place. I haven’t day drank, like  ALL DAY  drank since football season, back in Lubbock, 2 years ago. I’m nervous. To say the least. I just hope I survive. But while I’m out I’ll definitely use this time to do some wabbit hunting   : )


Over the old. In with the new…

After an afternoon of doing domesticated things like dust, mop and vacuum my apartment I decided I needed to reward myself for all the hard work  I had just put in. FYI….manual labor is SO not my thing. Where better to treat myself than a few hours at my haven of relaxation….the mall. Typically when I shop I start out in the high-end, expensive stores. There I can scope all the latest and greatest fabrics and patterns and visual displays then trickle down to the stores that are more practical (and I can actually afford) to build my ever-growing wardrobe.  Everywhere I went had a whole vintage story. Flowly paisley shirts. wide leg bell bottoms with skinny braided belts. Chunky/platform heels. Which I love, and already have of course, but when I shop, I look for what is really new. Something I haven’t seen any of my girlfriends or co-workers wearing yet. Nautical? No doubt a hot look for spring but I’ve only seen that in every magazine / runway and on girls in my circle for the past few months. Sure, you can’t seem to mess up the classic look of preppy stripes and navy trousers or a fitted tee adorned with a bold gold anchor but in here in Texas, Lake Lewisville doesn’t seem to attract too many sailors.

Walking to one of my favorite stores, Forever 21, I have a good feeling that there will be SOMETHING there I just have to have. Usually I can always find a new funky trendy piece.  As I stroll through the store I am literally OBSESSED with everything they have on the racks. Something about being there. Maybe it’s the music, the layout, the thousands of ever-changing items but this time it was specific….their tribal pieces. I have yet to see these anywhere. Aztec patterns and bold colors on everything from hoodies to clutches made my day.

I tried really hard not to buy too much I mean how can you resist?10 pieces for under $130. That’s a steal! And to be the trendiest of any of your friends….that’s priceless.


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